Own your look : A counsellor's Take on Style and Confidence

Written by - Susanna Celsia R

Practising Counsellor ,Counselling Research Scholar ,Creative writer and a fashion lover ,who is passionate advocate of uniqueness

How to look your best in this era? Looking your best these days is almost impossible!

The irony is that this is a time when movies don't make jokes about physical appearance anymore, and there is so much awareness about "body shaming" these days, yet the pressure to "look good" has increased more than ever.

But why this paradox? ... Maybe the pressure or discrimination is indirect these days.

If a product is being advertised by 1000 influencers as reducing a double chin, then you are automatically feeding yourself the idea that "a double chin is ugly". And if plastic surgery is so common, then are we really going towards body positivity...?

 When some argue that body positivity includes changing your body however you like, what about the motive or trigger that made you feel negative about your body in the first place?

Some questions are so deep that it takes effort and depth to ponder on,

Before you physically do anything, it's essential to mentally prepare yourself to look your best, and that includes some basics, such as realising that everyone is unique. There is so much beauty in the legacy you carry in your smile and your features, which are a beautiful work of nature's art. It's totally valid not want your features to be insulted by someone who came up with beauty standards

Additionally, whenever you are compelled to adhere to a specific trend, bear in mind that it is merely a fleeting fashion and does not define true beauty. Trends are constantly evolving; for instance, we have transitioned from thin eyebrows to thick eyebrows, from adopting Victoria's Secret models' ultra-slim standards to embracing the Kardashians' celebration of curves. These trends are superficial and not indicative of natural beauty. Therefore, it is essential not to become fixated on or conform to societal beauty standards. Trust that you are too discerning for such transient ideals.

Understanding and focusing on yourself rather than fashion trend guides is key to carrying yourself confidently and looking your best. It begins with knowing your body type, especially for women, and recognising that everyone is different. For example, if someone is naturally curvy, attempting to become extremely thin could be harmful to their body.

The second key point is mental preparation: avoid videos and content focused on aesthetics. With today's technology enabling deep editing, the body aesthetics market is booming. It's obvious that the more someone watches aesthetic videos, the more they may dislike their own appearance. This isn't due to anything wrong with them; rather, aesthetics are deliberately designed in ways that are often unattainable naturally. Especially among men, these ideals can distort self-perception significantly. Aesthetic clinics have a very noble purpose in restoring people's confidence but if we consume content that's about intentionally breaking people's natural confidence, then how can we expect ourselves to look good?  avoid content that's a mix of health awareness and aesthetics, as aesthetics have nothing to do with a healthy lifestyle

A person can look a certain way and still be very unhealthy so weight loss videos that say it's all about promoting good health but actually about aesthetics can be very confusing especially for men where many young boys think they need to look a certain way to be strong but being strong or healthy can be very different from it .

Nowadays a lot of treatments for skin and weight loss are claimed to be about being  healthy but involve shortcuts and unhealthy ways.

So after all this mental prep

Understand your skin and your  relationship with makeup

" Less is more is the key"

Our skin and hair  need nourishment and definitely our skin and hair deeply depends on our genes and even the place we are from so researching some ways our ancestors lived can be useful ,Indian hair always looks best and healthy when styled with coconut oil and if there's a beauty trend or someone claiming oiling hair looks bad ,it's totally just a choice to ignore it and do what suits our hair the best so new lab made products when hyped can be good or may not be  but making sure your skin is clean and moustizered and hair is not dry or messy is important so choosing the products that works best for you  is important and it doesn't have to be some magic portion that shrinks pores etc or new chemicals infused or lab made  product

it can be something can cleanses properly and keep your skin mousitized and  according to your  skin needs find out good products so once you are set and well cleaned and moisturized it's time to think of make up ... before putting it on its  very important to understand the after care of make up ,make up products can cause so much problems if not removed properly it's a precaution any make up artist would know especially them who work in theatre arts so the choice is do I really need something toxic enough to cause skin problems and  that which  clog my pores ? Sometimes yes we need it,  sometimes not really .. sometimes we can find better alternatives so understanding that being natural is not ugly can change a lot of the choices we make.

Choosing clothes can start with what fabric makes you feel most comfortable, fabric is the key, choose the best fabric, do not compromise on it.

Then moving on to  designs  and stitch

Check out ,what makes me feel most confident? It varies from person to person

So trying on different styles is important especially for woman one can look dramatically different from stitch to another so finding a particular style of clothes for example A line or wrap dress or a certain neck like sweetheart neck or cowl neck is important and choose what makes yoy feel most confident to move around and doesn't make you feel lost or bulky and choose breathable clothes nothing that hinders with free movement and you will feel better than ever.

Next are shoes it's such a relief to see that fashion today is shifting from heels to comfortable shoes especially the designer sports shoes for brides, so choosing the shoe that hurts your  feet the least is the key no more arguments in that

Choosing a perfume that stays long and yet is gentle on the skin is a task which can be a very good investment.

Accessories !!- The trickiest part about getting ready sometimes

... Accessories can be very shiny and nice but can be totally useless and some Cases even uncomfortable so choosing something that adds value and comfort is important something to go along your dress but also be comfortable and functional if possible

A sensible purse!!- This one's for the ladies, as much as a clutch and sling bag seems hassle-free it can also be so hard if you can't carry all you  need so finding a bag that can fit a lot but is easy to carry helps a lot and a common colour to match most clothes

So instead of buying purses as per clothes and designs

You can get standardised ones and group them into  casual,  formal,  Desi, errands etc  and resuse it  despite how it matches with your  outfit and it's a good investment because bad purses don't last long

So  buy it based on utility space and material and not brand value for better usage

So these are some simple practical ways to look good  and be confident in your  own skin because you deserve to be so

Written by - Susanna Celsia R

Practising Counsellor ,Counselling Research Scholar ,Creative writer and a fashion lover ,who is passionate advocate of uniqueness